Hello!

Since this is my first blog in a very long time, I'm a little confused on how to begin. I have a lot to say, but don't know where to start. On a totally different subject, I've noticed a great improvement in blogger.com! Bravo! When I first began blogging, I had to know HTML in order to design my blog, otherwise I was left with little choice in how I wanted my blog to look!

As you've notice from my "About Me" column, I had weight loss surgery on February 23, 2011. That's what I call the day I was reborn. I can't believe as I write this, my surgery was a month ago today and so far I haven't any regrets, and while I haven't lost a LOT of weight, I have lost 22 pounds since my first pre-op visit. I'm not happy, but it's more than I would have lost had I not had this surgery.

I became very depressed pre-surgery, and I'm sure you've heard many people say this, but I really don't know how I let myself get to 278 lbs! I had a lot of medical issues; high blood pressure, my cholesterol was in the warning zone, I was inching up towards diabetes, and on top of all that I have severe osteoarthritis in my knee which prevents me from walking and keeps me home a lot. My depression started last summer when my husband mentioned going out to take a walk on the beach. He said he missed it. He doesn't know this but that one statement he made was the icing on the cake that sent me into the pit of depression. I haven't told him to this day, and probably never will, but that day I made up my mind to do something about my situation.

I wasn't sure what to do and then, similar to the time I quit smoking, I woke up one day and had an epiphany. Weight loss surgery. That was it! I was tired of the countless diets I was on that either did absolutely nothing or bored me to tears. I had to do something. My problem is food, I like to too much. I don't eat to sustain myself, I eat when I'm happy, sad, bored, depressed and angry. It's my drug, my addiction, my go to for comfort. I was a slave to food, it ruled my life and I had to put an end to it.

I was also unemployed with minimal health insurance. It covered the basic necessities like doctor's visits, prescriptions and that's about it. So I decided if the insurance wouldn't pay for the surgery, I had a CD that my dad left me that I would cash out and pay for it myself. It wasn't money squandered, it was an investment in myself. The next move I made was to call my doctor who agreed with me regarding the surgery and began making the necessary motions to get me started. After a gadzillion medical and psych tests later, I was ready!

Today, a month later and 22 pounds lost, I am not hungry anymore, I eat because I need the nutrients to keep me healthy and for my new tummy to heal. I'm doing everything right and afraid not to do anything my doctor tells me. I can't overeat if I wanted to!

Not a lot of people in my life know about my surgery. I've decided to keep it to myself because, well some tend to judge, and I don't feel like arguing or trying to defend what I've done. I did this for me. It was a selfish act, but fortunately I love life too much and I want to live out the rest of my life as a healthy, active individual.

I know I have a long, hard road ahead of me but I have a tool for now that will help me get through it, and when that tool has worn out its welcome, the rest is up to me, and honestly, I've been through too much to go back. I'll never go back!