I love eggplant and discovered several years ago that the only way to eat eggplant is to fry it, and since eggplant is like a sponge, it drinks up all the oil in the pan and wants more, so needless to say it's kinda fatty and greasy. I gave up on it completely until I got the idea in my head that if I broil it, it might not be so bad. People grill veggies, so why not eggplant? So I bought two small ones and the rest is history. Here's my recipe:
Broiled Eggplant
2 small to medium sized FIRM eggplants
1/2 cup of olive oil
1/4 to 1/2 tsp. Garlic Powder
1/4 tsp. Chili flakes
Salt
Cut the stem side of the eggplant and cut a little bit off the bottom, then with a potato peeler, peel the eggplant. Now you can either cut it into 1/2 inch rounds or cut it on the diagonal, but either way the thickness should be 1/2 inch. Place on a small cookie sheet pan, then fire up your broiler. Add to olive oil, the garlic powder and chili flakes and lightly brush on one side of the eggplant and broil until brown on one side. Flip eggplant over and repeat by lightly brushing the other side and broil until brown. Lightly salt. I usually check my eggplant several times because I've forgotten them once and let them burn to a crisp. After I opened all the windows in the house to let the smoke out and silence the smoke alarms, I had to throw them away because crispy charred eggplant is not good eats!
These are great eaten as a snack or... with the following:
Chicken Salad
1 cooked, deboned chicken breast, chopped fine
1 1/2 tablespoons of light or reduced fat mayonnaise
1 medium sized stalk of celery, chopped into small pieces
dash of Jamaican style curry powder (or curry powder of your choice)
dash of pepper
Mix together all ingredients, then with a Ninja, Magic Bullet or Immersion blender, blend until pureed or chunky if you prefer. It's done!
One day I was looking for something to have for lunch and I didn't want to eat just plain chicken salad so I remembered the eggplant and placed about a teaspoon or chicken salad on each eggplant slice and folded it over so it looks like a mini taco. I made about 6 of these for myself and they were incredibly delicioso!! And OMG, it's even low carb! Imagine that!
A la prossima!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
My Bad
I know it's been a while since I posted anything, but my life has been so very busy that I need an administrative assistant to keep my calendar and keep me on the right track!
I survived Easter despite the fact that I cheated, and I'm totally okay with that because the difference is I didn't eat 9,000 calories that day. I ate breakfast, which always consists of one egg omelet with 1 skinny slice of cheese, had a yogurt for lunch and made individual Beef Wellington's with asparagus and roasted potatoes for dinner along with Lime Cheesecake for dessert.
I get my beef tenderloin from Costco and usually have the butcher cut it into chops, so after preparing it, adding minced, cooked mushrooms and wrapping it in puff pastry it comes out to about the size of my hand (6 inches from wrist to middle finger) and about 2 inches high. I could only eat half of it, ate the equivalent of one asparagus spear and 2 small wedges of potatoes. I was full and happy. Then later that evening, I had a small slice of cheesecake with coffee and was done eating for the day. Two days later, I got on the scale to see if anything happened and I lost one more pound! This proves the theory that even though I don't eat very many carbs, I can still indulge every so often without falling off the proverbial wagon.
I even started going back to the gym, and much to my surprise I did 10 minutes on the Elliptical and walked off of it without any pain in my knee, so I pushed it even further... bad idea! I got on the stationery bicycle and could only do 5 minutes before excruciating pain set in! No more bicycle for me until I lose more weight or the pain just goes away! I also worked out with some weights and all together I spent 35 minutes there and I know the more I go, the longer my workouts will be. I can't wait for that to happen!!
Unfortunately, I have a few doctor's appointments tomorrow and Friday so can't get back there until Saturday and I think I'll go there very early to get a head start and a free Elliptical!
I'm also really trying not to base my weight loss success on what the scale says because as we all know muscle weighs more than fat, and when I start seeing the weight of muscle on the scale it makes me neurotic, so the only time I'll weigh myself is once a week and keep an open mind.
I'm going to try some new recipes this weekend and will share once I do. Other than that I'm bogged down with homework, family business and in my neck of the woods we are experiencing days on end cloudy weather and humidity. It doesn't help my psyche.
Until then...
A la prossima!
I survived Easter despite the fact that I cheated, and I'm totally okay with that because the difference is I didn't eat 9,000 calories that day. I ate breakfast, which always consists of one egg omelet with 1 skinny slice of cheese, had a yogurt for lunch and made individual Beef Wellington's with asparagus and roasted potatoes for dinner along with Lime Cheesecake for dessert.
I get my beef tenderloin from Costco and usually have the butcher cut it into chops, so after preparing it, adding minced, cooked mushrooms and wrapping it in puff pastry it comes out to about the size of my hand (6 inches from wrist to middle finger) and about 2 inches high. I could only eat half of it, ate the equivalent of one asparagus spear and 2 small wedges of potatoes. I was full and happy. Then later that evening, I had a small slice of cheesecake with coffee and was done eating for the day. Two days later, I got on the scale to see if anything happened and I lost one more pound! This proves the theory that even though I don't eat very many carbs, I can still indulge every so often without falling off the proverbial wagon.
I even started going back to the gym, and much to my surprise I did 10 minutes on the Elliptical and walked off of it without any pain in my knee, so I pushed it even further... bad idea! I got on the stationery bicycle and could only do 5 minutes before excruciating pain set in! No more bicycle for me until I lose more weight or the pain just goes away! I also worked out with some weights and all together I spent 35 minutes there and I know the more I go, the longer my workouts will be. I can't wait for that to happen!!
Unfortunately, I have a few doctor's appointments tomorrow and Friday so can't get back there until Saturday and I think I'll go there very early to get a head start and a free Elliptical!
I'm also really trying not to base my weight loss success on what the scale says because as we all know muscle weighs more than fat, and when I start seeing the weight of muscle on the scale it makes me neurotic, so the only time I'll weigh myself is once a week and keep an open mind.
I'm going to try some new recipes this weekend and will share once I do. Other than that I'm bogged down with homework, family business and in my neck of the woods we are experiencing days on end cloudy weather and humidity. It doesn't help my psyche.
Until then...
A la prossima!
Monday, April 18, 2011
No Scale Victories
I lied. The first is really a scale victory because I've lost a total of about 30 lbs. The scale keeps playing with the last two pounds for some reason. One day I'm up two, and the next two days I'm down two. Wierd.
My no scale victory/ies today is about people beginning to take notice of the change in me. I look at myself everyday so I really haven't noticed a change in the way I look, but my husband notices and tells me, and I keep telling him he's just saying that to make me feel better, but he comes back with, "I'd never lie to you." Ah, what can I say, the boy loves me! Yes, after 25 years of marriage I still refer to him as "the boy."
However, today I had a few errands to run before I met my sister in law for lunch. I stopped at the post office first to pick up my mail and to mail a package. I went to high school with one of the postal workers so I always make sure I go up to her counter. We chit chat for a while and she says, "have you lost weight? I can see it in your face." Why yes I have! It's such a great feeling when someone else notices the fruits of one's labor! An incredibly great feeling!
My second stop was at the bank and again I know the manager so I stop to chat, she takes my deposits and goes up to a teller to process them. When she returned she said one of the tellers told me she notices your weight loss. The teller, a very petite girl from Eastern Europe smiles at me indicating that she was the one who made the comment. I waived hello, nodded my head and said, "yes, thank you!" Smiles all around!
Off to meet my sister in law for lunch. My sister in law isn't a very observant person so I wasn't really expecting my WOW moments to last, I was certain she'd be the one to break the chain of euphoric highs I was having all day, but instead she shocked me. The first thing she said to me was "Oh my goodness, I almost didn't recognize you! You look fantastic!" I haven't seen her since last summer.
Now this is the first time I've eaten out since surgery and I wasn't sure how it would be, but luckily she suggested IHOP which made it somewhat easy because I could have eggs, and that's exactly what I had. My plate came with two smoked sausages (kielbasa) 2 scrambled eggs, hash browns and pancakes with a nice big blob of butter on top, and the first thing I thought of was pre-surgery I would have schkoffed everything down and had dessert! No more. That was then, this is NOW!
Then it happened. I looked at the pancakes and thought to myself if I start eating them, I'll be putting non nutrious, high carb food in my tiny tummy and won't have room for anything else, so I started on the eggs and alternated between bites of egg and sausage. In total I had about 1/2 cup of eggs and half of one half of a sausage! Never touched the hash browns and actually forgot the pancakes were there, and then I got that familiar uncomfortable feeling at the top of my stomach that warns me that I better stop or I will be one sorry ass girl. I stopped because not only is my mission to lose weight and be healthy, I also don't want to vomit, get nauseous or be uncomfortable with an overly full tummy. "Obey the Sleeve," is my new motto these days, and obey I did as I asked the waiter for a take out container. My sister in law was amazed at how little I ate. Oh, and she doesn't know about my surgery either, and I'm not sure if I want to tell her.
As I sit here tonight writing this blog I realize I've experienced on of the many yet to come no scale victories and WOW moments. Realistically my day was pretty boring, but to me it was awesome!
A la prossima!
My no scale victory/ies today is about people beginning to take notice of the change in me. I look at myself everyday so I really haven't noticed a change in the way I look, but my husband notices and tells me, and I keep telling him he's just saying that to make me feel better, but he comes back with, "I'd never lie to you." Ah, what can I say, the boy loves me! Yes, after 25 years of marriage I still refer to him as "the boy."
However, today I had a few errands to run before I met my sister in law for lunch. I stopped at the post office first to pick up my mail and to mail a package. I went to high school with one of the postal workers so I always make sure I go up to her counter. We chit chat for a while and she says, "have you lost weight? I can see it in your face." Why yes I have! It's such a great feeling when someone else notices the fruits of one's labor! An incredibly great feeling!
My second stop was at the bank and again I know the manager so I stop to chat, she takes my deposits and goes up to a teller to process them. When she returned she said one of the tellers told me she notices your weight loss. The teller, a very petite girl from Eastern Europe smiles at me indicating that she was the one who made the comment. I waived hello, nodded my head and said, "yes, thank you!" Smiles all around!
Off to meet my sister in law for lunch. My sister in law isn't a very observant person so I wasn't really expecting my WOW moments to last, I was certain she'd be the one to break the chain of euphoric highs I was having all day, but instead she shocked me. The first thing she said to me was "Oh my goodness, I almost didn't recognize you! You look fantastic!" I haven't seen her since last summer.
Now this is the first time I've eaten out since surgery and I wasn't sure how it would be, but luckily she suggested IHOP which made it somewhat easy because I could have eggs, and that's exactly what I had. My plate came with two smoked sausages (kielbasa) 2 scrambled eggs, hash browns and pancakes with a nice big blob of butter on top, and the first thing I thought of was pre-surgery I would have schkoffed everything down and had dessert! No more. That was then, this is NOW!
Then it happened. I looked at the pancakes and thought to myself if I start eating them, I'll be putting non nutrious, high carb food in my tiny tummy and won't have room for anything else, so I started on the eggs and alternated between bites of egg and sausage. In total I had about 1/2 cup of eggs and half of one half of a sausage! Never touched the hash browns and actually forgot the pancakes were there, and then I got that familiar uncomfortable feeling at the top of my stomach that warns me that I better stop or I will be one sorry ass girl. I stopped because not only is my mission to lose weight and be healthy, I also don't want to vomit, get nauseous or be uncomfortable with an overly full tummy. "Obey the Sleeve," is my new motto these days, and obey I did as I asked the waiter for a take out container. My sister in law was amazed at how little I ate. Oh, and she doesn't know about my surgery either, and I'm not sure if I want to tell her.
As I sit here tonight writing this blog I realize I've experienced on of the many yet to come no scale victories and WOW moments. Realistically my day was pretty boring, but to me it was awesome!
A la prossima!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Why The Title of My Blog?
Some people have asked me why I titled my blog, "The Fat Girl Has Left The Building." It seemed appropriate at the time, and when I thought about why I did it, my memory kept going back to my last job, and how my supervisor made me feel so inadequate because I was fat. I know I said in a previous post that I was fired, I wasn't - I left on my own volition, but had I stayed, the next step would have been a termination because that's what she was aiming for when she gave me my final warning. I never got a "first" warning. She had people watching me and reporting back to her. She transferred me from one job to another that required a Master's Degree, then she gave me 5 days to learn the job. Really? She made up things about me that I had done wrong, she used inane excuses like I came back from lunch 2 minutes late or that I had left my desk light on all night as reasons to call me in for meetings so she could scold me. Of course since she worked for the president of the company no one would dare go against her. She had the upper hand and she knew how to use and abuse it. I held nothing back, I knew what she was doing, because she was doing the same thing to two more women in my office who were also fat. I told her right out that I was aware of what she was doing, and of course she denied it while choking on her words and trying to find the politically correct thing to say, so I couldn't outright accuse her. I'm not an idiot and I wasn't born yesterday, I know bullshit when I see it.
Fat people are truly discriminated against. I've seen it and I've experienced it. My last job was a total nightmare.
Employers don't want to hire fat people. Apparently we get sick a lot, we use too much health insurance benefits and heaven forbid we'd want to have weight loss surgery, well that'll cost them more money, which in turn they'll just pass off to their employees! They won't tell you any of that, but it's obvious, and the sad thing about it is, there's no way to prove it. It's called silent discrimination. Employers don't sit in meetings to discuss new candidates and say they won't hire a person because they're fat because that would be illegal, but they'll tell the candidate they found someone with more experience or was better qualified. Really? That is such bullshit. The real underlying reason is obvious, just ask any fat person looking for a job.
So the day I gave my notice, I gathered up my things in a box and brought them out the front door. I said goodbye to the receptionist because she was always so nice to me and a few friends, but the best part was the feeling I got when I left the building. It was a victorious moment in my life. I felt strong, I felt powerful and in my heart of hearts I knew I did the right thing. This fat girl, the one my supervisor hated and had been trying to fire for the last 4 months of my time at the company was finally leaving the building.
I had no job to go to, the economy sucked, as it still does, but I didn't care. I felt as if I got the upper hand this time and that's an incredible feeling of liberation, it's something I had never experienced before; it was exhilarating, a personal victory! I was free!
I had the same feeling after weight loss surgery. I felt as if the chains that held me down for so long were finally lifted. I couldn't eat the way I used to, but I could still eat what I wanted, just not the same volume as before, and that's okay. It's a fair compromise as far as I'm concerned, and I know that instead of filling my small stomach up with non nutritious junk, I'd rather fill it up with healthy food.
Deciding to have this surgery was like bungee jumping off a bridge because you trust that all will go well and you won't plunge to your death. It's literally a leap of faith just like having VSG. I trusted a man, a medical professional to keep me alive, to make me better, to fix my fat problem, but I could have died and like bungee jumping that was a chance I was willing to take. Living life pre-op may as well have been death. I didn't go out anymore, I couldn't go to the mall or shopping because it hurt too much to walk, and while the world was turning, my life was slipping away. When I was being taken to the operating room was the moment I was about to bungee jump off that bridge and my mind raced with thoughts: Was I doing the right thing? Am I going to have any regrets? What do I tell people? What do I tell my family? It was too late, the anesthesia was in my IV and now there was no turning back, but I wasn't scared, I trusted my surgeon and I trusted God. I swear I felt my deceased parents tell me it was going to be alright just before I lost consciousness. Even the night before surgery, I heard my father talking to me telling me I was doing the right thing. He was proud of me, and with that blessing I jumped.
I've said this before, it's not an easy decision to make. Like a drug addict or alcoholic, you have to hit bottom, that ugly place where you decide if you want to live or die and after contemplating for a while, you make your decision. While everything was leaning towards the hopeless and that I'd never lose weight and be healthy again, at the 11th hour I chose life.
An old friend came to mind the other day, she's really a "used to be" friend. She was a big girl when I first me her, so was I. However, little by little she chipped away at it and ended up losing a little over 100 lbs. I gave her nothing but praise. I didn't judge her before or after, I was proud of her. I will admit I was also a little jealous and mad but only at myself, because I didn't have her willpower. Then one day, she got mad at me because I did something nice for someone she didn't like too much, and as payback, she went online and told some of our mutual friends how fat I was, how big my hips and thighs were and how the size of one of my calfs was equivalent of one of her legs, and she carried on about how she lost weight and now weighed x amount of pounds. I know this because someone showed me her post, and all I could think of was, "how dare she judge?"
I don't get it. She was once a big girl, she lost weight and now she feels she has the right to judge other overweight people? It's a blessing she's not my friend anymore, but in a way it disturbs me that she has forgotten her past, but I think she did more out of revenge than anything else, to humiliate me about my weight because she was mad at me. Talk about burning one's bridges! In any event, not only do I NOT need friends like that, her plan backfired; everyone saw right through her.
So this fat girl is leaving many buildings and leaving a lot of her past behind. She will inspire others, and remain humbled by a gift given to her by her surgeon through God. I will never forget my past as I go along this journey. It's time to move on and let go.
A la prossima!
Fat people are truly discriminated against. I've seen it and I've experienced it. My last job was a total nightmare.
Employers don't want to hire fat people. Apparently we get sick a lot, we use too much health insurance benefits and heaven forbid we'd want to have weight loss surgery, well that'll cost them more money, which in turn they'll just pass off to their employees! They won't tell you any of that, but it's obvious, and the sad thing about it is, there's no way to prove it. It's called silent discrimination. Employers don't sit in meetings to discuss new candidates and say they won't hire a person because they're fat because that would be illegal, but they'll tell the candidate they found someone with more experience or was better qualified. Really? That is such bullshit. The real underlying reason is obvious, just ask any fat person looking for a job.
So the day I gave my notice, I gathered up my things in a box and brought them out the front door. I said goodbye to the receptionist because she was always so nice to me and a few friends, but the best part was the feeling I got when I left the building. It was a victorious moment in my life. I felt strong, I felt powerful and in my heart of hearts I knew I did the right thing. This fat girl, the one my supervisor hated and had been trying to fire for the last 4 months of my time at the company was finally leaving the building.
I had no job to go to, the economy sucked, as it still does, but I didn't care. I felt as if I got the upper hand this time and that's an incredible feeling of liberation, it's something I had never experienced before; it was exhilarating, a personal victory! I was free!
I had the same feeling after weight loss surgery. I felt as if the chains that held me down for so long were finally lifted. I couldn't eat the way I used to, but I could still eat what I wanted, just not the same volume as before, and that's okay. It's a fair compromise as far as I'm concerned, and I know that instead of filling my small stomach up with non nutritious junk, I'd rather fill it up with healthy food.
Deciding to have this surgery was like bungee jumping off a bridge because you trust that all will go well and you won't plunge to your death. It's literally a leap of faith just like having VSG. I trusted a man, a medical professional to keep me alive, to make me better, to fix my fat problem, but I could have died and like bungee jumping that was a chance I was willing to take. Living life pre-op may as well have been death. I didn't go out anymore, I couldn't go to the mall or shopping because it hurt too much to walk, and while the world was turning, my life was slipping away. When I was being taken to the operating room was the moment I was about to bungee jump off that bridge and my mind raced with thoughts: Was I doing the right thing? Am I going to have any regrets? What do I tell people? What do I tell my family? It was too late, the anesthesia was in my IV and now there was no turning back, but I wasn't scared, I trusted my surgeon and I trusted God. I swear I felt my deceased parents tell me it was going to be alright just before I lost consciousness. Even the night before surgery, I heard my father talking to me telling me I was doing the right thing. He was proud of me, and with that blessing I jumped.
I've said this before, it's not an easy decision to make. Like a drug addict or alcoholic, you have to hit bottom, that ugly place where you decide if you want to live or die and after contemplating for a while, you make your decision. While everything was leaning towards the hopeless and that I'd never lose weight and be healthy again, at the 11th hour I chose life.
An old friend came to mind the other day, she's really a "used to be" friend. She was a big girl when I first me her, so was I. However, little by little she chipped away at it and ended up losing a little over 100 lbs. I gave her nothing but praise. I didn't judge her before or after, I was proud of her. I will admit I was also a little jealous and mad but only at myself, because I didn't have her willpower. Then one day, she got mad at me because I did something nice for someone she didn't like too much, and as payback, she went online and told some of our mutual friends how fat I was, how big my hips and thighs were and how the size of one of my calfs was equivalent of one of her legs, and she carried on about how she lost weight and now weighed x amount of pounds. I know this because someone showed me her post, and all I could think of was, "how dare she judge?"
I don't get it. She was once a big girl, she lost weight and now she feels she has the right to judge other overweight people? It's a blessing she's not my friend anymore, but in a way it disturbs me that she has forgotten her past, but I think she did more out of revenge than anything else, to humiliate me about my weight because she was mad at me. Talk about burning one's bridges! In any event, not only do I NOT need friends like that, her plan backfired; everyone saw right through her.
So this fat girl is leaving many buildings and leaving a lot of her past behind. She will inspire others, and remain humbled by a gift given to her by her surgeon through God. I will never forget my past as I go along this journey. It's time to move on and let go.
A la prossima!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
I Want More But My Sleeve is too Small!
I made another yummy dinner tonight that I want to share with you. It involves chicken, because you can never have too many chicken recipes and it involves tomatoes - the San Marzano kind and for the carb eaters, some whole wheat Rotini pasta. The chicken came out so yummydelicious that I think everyone should make this dish if not just once in your life:
Oh, and P.S. I am going to try to buy a camera this weekend! Yaokay!
Chicken Roll Ups with Tomato Sauce
5 Chicken cutlets
5 pieces of proscuitto
4 ounces of Fontina cheese, grated
1 fat clove of garlic minced
1 small onion, minced
2 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon of butter
1/4 tsp. of chili flakes (optional)
salt and pepper
Toothpicks
Pound out each chicken breast until flat, add a slice of proscuitto and about 1/2 ounce of cheese (a little more than a tablespoonful), roll and close with a toothpick. Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil and butter in a pan and when hot, place chicken rollups in and cook until brown on all sides. I did not need more oil for this. When cooked, set aside. **Warning, these will not be cooked through.
In the same pan, add the other tablespoon of olive oil, then add onion, garlic and chili flakes and cook until fragrant. Add can of tomatoes and cook for about 5 minutes on low heat, then place the chicken back in and cook covered for about 10-20 minutes on low heat. You can add your salt and pepper before you take it off the heat or after or not at all. I used a little pepper but no salt.
I ate a piece of chicken with sauce and nothing else, and while I found it difficult to finish the entire cutlet, I was disappointed because I wanted to finish it! I guess old habits die hard.
I was happy I didn't have any pasta, I let my husband eat that!
A la prossima!
Oh, and P.S. I am going to try to buy a camera this weekend! Yaokay!
Chicken Roll Ups with Tomato Sauce
5 Chicken cutlets
5 pieces of proscuitto
4 ounces of Fontina cheese, grated
1 fat clove of garlic minced
1 small onion, minced
2 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon of butter
1/4 tsp. of chili flakes (optional)
salt and pepper
Toothpicks
Pound out each chicken breast until flat, add a slice of proscuitto and about 1/2 ounce of cheese (a little more than a tablespoonful), roll and close with a toothpick. Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil and butter in a pan and when hot, place chicken rollups in and cook until brown on all sides. I did not need more oil for this. When cooked, set aside. **Warning, these will not be cooked through.
In the same pan, add the other tablespoon of olive oil, then add onion, garlic and chili flakes and cook until fragrant. Add can of tomatoes and cook for about 5 minutes on low heat, then place the chicken back in and cook covered for about 10-20 minutes on low heat. You can add your salt and pepper before you take it off the heat or after or not at all. I used a little pepper but no salt.
I ate a piece of chicken with sauce and nothing else, and while I found it difficult to finish the entire cutlet, I was disappointed because I wanted to finish it! I guess old habits die hard.
I was happy I didn't have any pasta, I let my husband eat that!
A la prossima!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Dealing with the Aftermath
As I've mentioned in another post, I haven't told many people about my surgery. The only people in my life who know are my husband, my two cousins and 2 friends. My husband is my supporter 100% of the way, my 2 cousins both had the surgery so I needed them to lean on before and after, and my two friends... well, that's another story. I told my friend M because I've known her forever and I trust her to keep my confidences. If I told M that I murdered someone in cold blood, she wouldn't even wince, the secret would go to the grave with her. My other friend J went ahead and told another mutual friend of ours who has a big mouth and loves to gossip.
So now I imagine EVERYONE knows.
The problem I have with this is some people are judgmental, some are nosy and others want to either sabotage you or watch you fail. For instance, when I was a lot younger and only had 35 lbs. to lose, the only other person who knew was my mother, and only because we went to Weight Watchers meetings together and we supported one another. So as my friends and other family members watched a good chunk of me disappear, I got a lot of positive comments, however, whenever I went to a party or family cookout, people watched what was on my plate, and I'd get comments like, "are you supposed to be eating that?" or "be careful or you'll put all your weight back on." Or the one I love the most, "so how much weight have you lost?" There was even a time when someone took a plate of cookies off the table and said it would be "too much temptation for me." Really? I didn't even know they were there! The problem is I don't want to have to deal with negativity or nosiness. I am going to change and look different to people as I continue on my journey and there are inevitably going to be stares and comments; I was told I'll probably even lose a friend or two along the way, I hope that doesn't happen but if it does, well maybe they weren't really a friend to begin with. I do know this - as I lose weight, people are going to be watching me. They're going to watch everything I eat and make all kinds of comments and some will even wait for me to fail. I'll probably hear, "oh I know someone who had that surgery and it didn't work." That's great encouragement. Maybe the reason why it didn't work is because they didn't put the effort into making it work!
There's no reason why I have to keep trying to convince people on why I chose weight loss surgery or that I took the easy way out. Well, fuck yes I did take the easy way out because the traditional way wasn't working and I made the ultimate sacrifice of having a part of my body removed so I can finally be successful!
We live in a fat phobic world, where it's much easier to poke fun or ostracize people who are fat because we're considered weak, lazy and have no willpower. Yep, it's my fault I got fat therefore I am seen to the world as a failure.
Everyone has an opinion on how to handle obesity, but I can say that not very many of these people have had their mothers die in their arms. My mother was also overweight and she yo-yo'd more than anyone I know, and she paid for it with her life. She developed diabetes which resulted in heart failure and 11 years ago at the age of 60 she died in my arms. Who would have thought that the almost 5 lb little girl she held in her arms on the day she was born would be holding her on the day of her death? It's ironic.
Eight years later I lost my dad, also to diabetes which resulted in kidney failure and heart disease. Even though my dad was never really overweight, diabetes is hereditary and I'm prone to having it so why not nip it in the bud and try to keep it away for as long as I possibly can? I'm a lot like my dad, I love life and I want to continue to be active and loving life for as long as I can.
I had my surgery because I don't want die young.
Pre-op I had high blood pressure and was incontinent, now that's history. I still have sleep apnea and severe bone on bone arthritis and it's only a matter of time before that's not an issue anymore. I am also borderline diabetic and I won't know anymore until my blood work is done next month. So I'm off to an excellent start.
I just hope that one day people will understand that being overweight and failing at weight loss is an emotional roller coaster and the last thing we need is negativity and ignorance because they don't understand or have been there. I do know it's not going to go away, it's human nature and people will be people, so I'm going to have to learn to grow a stronger backbone, some thicker skin and learn to brush it off my shoulders. It's all part of the journey.
A la prossima!
So now I imagine EVERYONE knows.
The problem I have with this is some people are judgmental, some are nosy and others want to either sabotage you or watch you fail. For instance, when I was a lot younger and only had 35 lbs. to lose, the only other person who knew was my mother, and only because we went to Weight Watchers meetings together and we supported one another. So as my friends and other family members watched a good chunk of me disappear, I got a lot of positive comments, however, whenever I went to a party or family cookout, people watched what was on my plate, and I'd get comments like, "are you supposed to be eating that?" or "be careful or you'll put all your weight back on." Or the one I love the most, "so how much weight have you lost?" There was even a time when someone took a plate of cookies off the table and said it would be "too much temptation for me." Really? I didn't even know they were there! The problem is I don't want to have to deal with negativity or nosiness. I am going to change and look different to people as I continue on my journey and there are inevitably going to be stares and comments; I was told I'll probably even lose a friend or two along the way, I hope that doesn't happen but if it does, well maybe they weren't really a friend to begin with. I do know this - as I lose weight, people are going to be watching me. They're going to watch everything I eat and make all kinds of comments and some will even wait for me to fail. I'll probably hear, "oh I know someone who had that surgery and it didn't work." That's great encouragement. Maybe the reason why it didn't work is because they didn't put the effort into making it work!
There's no reason why I have to keep trying to convince people on why I chose weight loss surgery or that I took the easy way out. Well, fuck yes I did take the easy way out because the traditional way wasn't working and I made the ultimate sacrifice of having a part of my body removed so I can finally be successful!
We live in a fat phobic world, where it's much easier to poke fun or ostracize people who are fat because we're considered weak, lazy and have no willpower. Yep, it's my fault I got fat therefore I am seen to the world as a failure.
Everyone has an opinion on how to handle obesity, but I can say that not very many of these people have had their mothers die in their arms. My mother was also overweight and she yo-yo'd more than anyone I know, and she paid for it with her life. She developed diabetes which resulted in heart failure and 11 years ago at the age of 60 she died in my arms. Who would have thought that the almost 5 lb little girl she held in her arms on the day she was born would be holding her on the day of her death? It's ironic.
Eight years later I lost my dad, also to diabetes which resulted in kidney failure and heart disease. Even though my dad was never really overweight, diabetes is hereditary and I'm prone to having it so why not nip it in the bud and try to keep it away for as long as I possibly can? I'm a lot like my dad, I love life and I want to continue to be active and loving life for as long as I can.
I had my surgery because I don't want die young.
Pre-op I had high blood pressure and was incontinent, now that's history. I still have sleep apnea and severe bone on bone arthritis and it's only a matter of time before that's not an issue anymore. I am also borderline diabetic and I won't know anymore until my blood work is done next month. So I'm off to an excellent start.
I just hope that one day people will understand that being overweight and failing at weight loss is an emotional roller coaster and the last thing we need is negativity and ignorance because they don't understand or have been there. I do know it's not going to go away, it's human nature and people will be people, so I'm going to have to learn to grow a stronger backbone, some thicker skin and learn to brush it off my shoulders. It's all part of the journey.
A la prossima!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Just Kvetching
I've been having some discomfort lately and I have to get to the bottom of this soon. It seems whenever I eat, I have hunger pangs about 30 minutes later, and they seem to last for several hours. I try to drink water or iced tea in hopes that it goes away but it just gets worse, and I know it's not hunger because I'm full! I couldn't get anymore food in me if I wanted to!
I was almost tempted to go to a VSG message board VSG that I began frequenting pre and post op for a while, but it seems whenever I ask a question there, I get little to no response. I won't even say the name of this site because generally it's a good site, but I don't get as much support as I need from it, so I'll just wait to ask my surgeon when I see him on Tuesday.
I've lost not a pound this week, but it sure seems like my clothes are getting even bigger so what's up with the friggin' scale then? Again, not doing anything different as far as what I consume goes, I am still eating between 600-800 calories a day, watching my salt and fat intake, blah, blah, blah. I've even been going out, walking around (as best as I can with a cane), trying to get some exercise in.... and nothing. I hate my body. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it!
And since I'm here pouring my heart out to anyone who will listen, I did make a white bean dip this weekend which is low carb, protein laden and tasty! I found this recipe on the Weight Watcher's site but have altered it to suit my tastes and make it my very own. I haven't had any of it yet, but I did taste it and it's definitely a hit.
White Bean Dip
1 can Canellini beans
Juice of half a small lemon, about a tablespoon
1 tbsp. lemon zest
1/3 c. of green pepper, diced
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. dried basil
Salt and pepper to taste
Use whatever you have, a blender, immersion blender, Ninja or Magic Bullet and whiz until smooth. Let sit in the fridge for about an hour before consuming.
I plan on having some this afternoon for lunch with sliced cucumber and grape tomatoes.
I'm also going take a moment to thank the Gods in heaven because since I've had surgery, the little "gassy" problem I used to have is gone! I'm not a huge meat eater and the alternatives have always left me feeling a bit bloated, but since surgery, I am finding that I can eat beans, tofu, etc., and not suffer the repercussions. It's totally a good thing!
Well, need to get my to-do list in order and make something of this day.
A la Prossima!
I was almost tempted to go to a VSG message board VSG that I began frequenting pre and post op for a while, but it seems whenever I ask a question there, I get little to no response. I won't even say the name of this site because generally it's a good site, but I don't get as much support as I need from it, so I'll just wait to ask my surgeon when I see him on Tuesday.
I've lost not a pound this week, but it sure seems like my clothes are getting even bigger so what's up with the friggin' scale then? Again, not doing anything different as far as what I consume goes, I am still eating between 600-800 calories a day, watching my salt and fat intake, blah, blah, blah. I've even been going out, walking around (as best as I can with a cane), trying to get some exercise in.... and nothing. I hate my body. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it!
And since I'm here pouring my heart out to anyone who will listen, I did make a white bean dip this weekend which is low carb, protein laden and tasty! I found this recipe on the Weight Watcher's site but have altered it to suit my tastes and make it my very own. I haven't had any of it yet, but I did taste it and it's definitely a hit.
White Bean Dip
1 can Canellini beans
Juice of half a small lemon, about a tablespoon
1 tbsp. lemon zest
1/3 c. of green pepper, diced
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. dried basil
Salt and pepper to taste
Use whatever you have, a blender, immersion blender, Ninja or Magic Bullet and whiz until smooth. Let sit in the fridge for about an hour before consuming.
I plan on having some this afternoon for lunch with sliced cucumber and grape tomatoes.
I'm also going take a moment to thank the Gods in heaven because since I've had surgery, the little "gassy" problem I used to have is gone! I'm not a huge meat eater and the alternatives have always left me feeling a bit bloated, but since surgery, I am finding that I can eat beans, tofu, etc., and not suffer the repercussions. It's totally a good thing!
Well, need to get my to-do list in order and make something of this day.
A la Prossima!
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